Thursday, August 26, 2010
over the week:
1) "amanda you need to work harder" *insert exclamation marks*
just who are you to even hint that i'm not working hard? i had to tolerate being yelled at, shoved at, fight back tears, and listen to words that do nothing but tear me down, believing that the only person left who believes in me is down to myself. i work my ass off, but apparently i cant improve fast enough for you.
typical hypocrite. sure, go on saying how much you're committed to this and to that, but if you think it's beneath you to explain basic moves to someone like me who's starting on ground zero, if you cant control your temper, then you're just like the rest of the world.
when the entire team was covered in mud, i longed to be equally filthy. can you imagine? but no, some people just don't have enough faith to pass the blardy ball. i'm sorry i let you down. sarcastic as it may sound, i really was.
it's good in a way. you're toughening me up. being stuck with the likes of you trains my willpower. you're making me stronger whilst you're tearing me down. good for you. good for me too.
2) lousy accountability
no more to be said.
3) Erica James' "Act of Faith"
Another one of those authors who like to play around the subject of God. so many different points of view on this matter are thrown at me this season. and i thought i'd considered it all. naturally, it'd take tremendous faith not to waver.
one of those phases where the subject matter keeps hitting home - amanda you're worthless and totally dispensable. convenient too.
i blogged @
10:58 PM
