Thursday, June 26, 2008
2 options:
you either try & succeed,
or you die trying
for me, it was the latter.
those 3 hrs felt like eternity. all i managed to churn up were repeats of the qns on my answer script, because no amt of my mathematical knowledge accumulated over the many many years of education that i summoned with all my might seemed to be of any use today. for the first time ever, im not even confident of securing 10 marks. yes. not even 10 pathetic marks.
when i get overwhelmed, i end up stoning. (and ppl around me start worrying coz i start making big actions like tearing/detachig paper violently, shaking my head, thinking that im fed up when in actual fact, im not. just depressed haha)
i looked over to my left, where mrs kwang & ms ng's students were - all scribbling frantically away.
i looked over to my right. (i dun wanna say whose students we belong to). and i must say, its comforting, at the same time unsettling, to see many fellow stones.
and i sat there, freezing cold, feeling even more dejected than ever. somewhere along the aisle, someone's tummy growled. i sat there, churning up not solutions to the ants on my qn paper, but prayers to Him. about almost everything.
i nvr stoned this much before. its not a good feeling
in short. im screwed.
well done college. another killer paper.
ive only just begun to unfold, to have the courage to hope again, to dare to even dream bigger, but so soon, im being put to the test. Today, one of my pillars was lashed. cracked it may be, but it will not crumble because a power greater than I holds it up. i still have a reason to rejoice. God's been so good this past wk man!
and as i told CHUBS (ahaha :p) & some others, i hope you're not holding out your umbrella today, so we can get drenched under His downpour of love.
love love love. his perfect love is so unfathomable man. yet so tangible.
and yeah. balling & crapping with friends help a lot too :)
yay. end of exams for now :D
i blogged @
4:25 PM
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
FAMINE CAMP
14-15 JUNE
outside ACS barker in e weeeee hrs of e morning
my tag!
something we did as a memorial for hiv/aids victims
some fun before sleeping? haha one of e few pics we took.
yup that dot is the moon. my view from where i slept
just before worship
the starved & exhausted. even before the newspaper collection began! heeheeeee
hehehe. dun wanna say much abt e camp here. come ask me abt it!
just know that God spoke :)
on another note,
im also irritated.
do your friends blackmail you?
then again, are those who blackmail you considered friends?
anyway,
im looking forward to more morning runs:)
but when school reopens....... :s
oh wells..at least a significant amt of time was devoted to sports this hols.
i blogged @
9:31 PM
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Attributes of a sportsman
disciplined
adventurous
strong
determined
punctual
bold
honest
humble
perseveres
dreams
accepts challenges
good time managers
lives by the pain rule
i gotta sharpen my blade, coz some points have become blunt.
today, it was with HER!
this girl is THE extreme mugger.
thanks for keeping me in check :)
i blogged @
9:13 PM
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
All I Want is YouI’ve waited all my life to be here face to face.
I never knew that I could feel this kind of grace.
The way You show me that Your blood has washed me clean,
Could never be erased, it lives inside of me.
Take me to that secret place,
Where I can only see Your Face,
And nothing else will ever feel this way.
You take away my guilty stains,
The things I’ve done that I can’t change,
It’s only by the Power of Your name.
I stand here in this place,
See the Glory on Your Face,
Taken by the wonder of Your name.
I’m desperate for Your touch,
Never needed it so much,
Cause all I want is You.
When all the things around me have fallen to the ground
I’m always thankful for the love in You I’ve found.
i rmb the very 1st time i heard this song,
i was still running away.
& i rmb breaking down, no, not because i was touched, but because i nvr thought God would still accept me because Ive run a wee bit too far. my life was still crapped anyway, but i wanted to know if there was more. i wanted change, i wanted out, but i nvr believed it possible, nvr dared to fully believe because i was afraid of being let down.
so when i stepped into YI, n i heard this song being played, i was won over, & i surrendered.
that day was the very 1st time i actually asked Him to show me the way.
& im so glad i did! its interesting how He draws people.
haha. this song just popped into my head the mmt i woke up, so here it is.
on another note,
im devastated.
I DUNNO ANYBODY IN MY TEAM FOR THE FAMINE CAMP !!!!!!
(except the guys?)
OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
AHHHHHH
its time to put my socialising skills into action. i desperately need company. OH MAN.
on another key,
i rmb 1 of mum's rare quotes of long ago that still sticks in my head today.
"just because a guy is nice to you, doesnt necessarily mean that he likes you"
im really so proud, so proud of you for letting go, because that guy is obvious crap. & im so glad that you were firm in not letting him have his way, & even happier that you're still standing strong.
i was taught that feelings & emotions are good followers, but not good masters. dun let your emotions get the better of you ok?
you've got US & everyone else to help piece together what was broken, so hang on girl :)
on a different piano,
im mugging with FAITH PANTING after eating a SUBWAY LUNCH ( LIKE FINALLY! ) at WESTMALL!
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hopefully that girl doesnt make me laugh so much that i cant absorb anything i study.
eh..wait. of cos she wun, cos i'll be forcing her to mug too. WAHA
LEE JIE XI KUEH ARNT YOU JEALOUS ?!?!?!!!! hur hur. i'll kick faith's butt & pretend that you told me to do it. hohoho
i blogged @
9:31 AM
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Lisa's!
N im so glad t be able to read it! Thk u Lz!
My heart stopped for a sec when i read 1 part.really.
"A fast is not an opportunity to show others how deeply spiritual you are, but an opportunity to FOCUS ON THE NEEDS OF OTHERS.The world hunger movement has a program called 'Let it Growl,' a world hunger and awareness fast. During this fast, when participants feel the hunger pangs rise up and their stomachs begin to growl, they remember that one-third of the people in this world go to bed with that same feeling every night because they have no food."
Hur hur. So it Wasnt as meaningless as i thought it to be initially. Tts good ! At least now i start with a er..EVEN more positive outlook.
Im gg into e famine camp tis weekend prepared, n expecting God.:) i blogged @
6:04 PM
I SPENT LAST NIGHT AND THIS MORNING WITH MY DEAR TRACKERS!! FINALLY :D
at some ulu thai "zi char" thingy near our dear old ulu 2.4km route
(oh i rmb the dreaded 9km runs so well)
while awaiting the arrival of e other yum yums. (i wonder if lisa is salivating. HEE. & i wonder if she SHOWED THEM TO ALL THE GOOD FOOD PLACES yet. HAHAHAHAHA)
hmm.. we were most prob laughing at the twins. ahahaha
i tell you, the reason for me being camera shy(YES I AM), is coz my friends are!
we attacked our 1st dish with a new-found fervour
actually, e food wasnt that bad :)
(contrary to pre-meal FEARS because this place was introduced by the twins.. & we all know what that means. hehhehehehehhehehehehe. rmb e prata incident 2 yrs ago ?!?!)
and that was dinner.
AFTER DINNER, we went to seletaris (coz e twins really missed their old home haha)
and made a fool of ourselves at e playground. fen's mistake was wearing a dress. heeeee
children once again. i was looking for stars, but there were none :(
rmb when we celebrated the twins' 16th bday?
actually we did much more than play. haha. we went nuts doing other stuff too (yea. stuff like.. listening to fang singing. laughing at fang singing. singing AI school song once again. laughing at our singing. trying to pole down the pole. laughing at failing. "dancing" to this VAMPIRE song(LOLOL). collapsing due to exhaution from laughing so much. & taking vids of EVERYTHING, but not daring to post ath up. ahaha. u'd haveta steal my phone & fen's. muhaha)
nxt, we played foosball !!!
I LOVE FOOSBALL! HAHAHA. very gd memories
us baring our "muscles" before the battle
i thought we were supposed to bare our "muscles", but.. SOME started acting cute. hahaha
this so reminds me of KUNGFU PANDA. i dunno why. haha quite a candid shot, considering that lihua REALLY FELL DOWN. HEEEEE. must be achu's fault. look at how she's holding lihuas leg. tsktsk. :D
some1 took a vid of e foosball battle, but... i cant rmb who. haha oops?
really really enjoy spending time with these people, especially coz we've been thru SO MUCH(so much = REALLY THAT MUCH. all the tears, sweat, swimming, muggings.. phew!) tgt in track :D
to the three '89s,
CONGRATS getting into your Us too !!!!! so proud of you guys man!
we've committed to running every morning. & this morning's run was just like old times :)
old running buddies, old routes, old hangout-after-crazy-run place.we crap the same, but this time, we included loads of crap about our futures too. heheeeee look how we've grown, from mere muggerholics and cca-enthusiasts, to who we are today - muggerholics and more!
yea. we've grown. physically too. UNOE WHAT?! i cant fit into my jerseys ANYMORE (except 1 which used to be oversized)!!! SAD LAH!
xiang dang nian, i still hadta ask mum to help me sew up e sleeves of some, cos i was just too smallish (smallish = shorter than CHUA YANNI. oh goodness). ahhhhhh. should have gotten them 2 sizes bigger back then. i dun mind sewing as long as i can still wear them like.. NOW. boooooo
oh wells. cant do ath abt THAT.
im soooo looking forward to future runs :D
coz i really miss running, and running with YOU GUYS!
i blogged @
3:58 PM
Sunday, June 08, 2008
i must admit,
I AM GONNA MISS YOU GUYS :'(
even though we dun normally meet on weekdays, its the thought that none of you guys are close by that makes me miss all you peeps even more.
take loads of photos hor!
AND SHOW ME !!!!
AND TELL ME WHAT CRAP U GUYS BEEN UP TO TOO !!!
till nxt NXT wk.
ahhh sighs
i blogged @
9:13 PM
Saturday, June 07, 2008
wow. look at this unearthly hour. i should be in bed, but.............................
anyway, i thought this was impt! GOD SPEAKS !!!!!
Ephesians 2:19-21
"Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but
fellow citizens with God's people and
members of God's household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the
chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is
joined together and
rises to become a holy temple in the Lord"
cornerstone. been thinking abt that word for quite awhile now. and thanks to my dear discipler, found out tt it meant being an impt foundation for buildings. when Jesus is the cornerstone, Jesus is our FOUNDATION. and when He's the CHIEF cornerstone, He's THE foundation.
you know, we musnt underestimate the power of unity.
"UNITY IS STRENGTH", as was written on the shirt of some random guy i met on the mrt today.
this body NEEDS to be UNIFIED - as ONE ACCORD.
we love TOGETHER, serve TOGETHER, grow in Christ TOGETHER.
Ephesians 4:16
"From him the
whole body, joined and held together by
every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in
LOVE, as each part does its work."
much as we prideful ppl deny it, we NEED each other. i need you, you and you to grow! we're just so interdependent. you know, its ok to share your burdens. hold back no longer! stop entertaining the devil's lies. stop thinking that no one else can be bothered with your struggles because they've got their own 'issues' to deal with. been there, done that, and i tell you, NOT WORTH IT in the least. of course not. because its a lie that you're living in.
UNITY = STRENGTH
take the effort to love eath other, be patient, bear with one another be selfless, make
EVERY EFFORT to maintain our unity, and forgive.
whats that? you think that some ppl just dont deserve your kindness, your patience?
well, neither did we deserve God's PERFECT love. His love which encompasses all. neither did we deserve to be forgiven. neither did HE deserve death on the cross.
EVERYONE is indispensable!i really want us to be strong as one in Him.
2.23am
i must be insane
i blogged @
1:58 AM
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
I need my holiday i blogged @
9:10 AM
Sunday, June 01, 2008
What is tis hard thumping in my chest?
Its my expectancy of you, Lord!
Marvellous are e works of ur hand:) i blogged @
1:06 PM
outside ACS barker in e weeeee hrs of e morning
my tag!
something we did as a memorial for hiv/aids victims 
yup that dot is the moon. my view from where i slept
hmm.. we were most prob laughing at the twins. ahahaha
we attacked our 1st dish with a new-found fervour
