Sunday, February 12, 2006
n it keeps getting worst..even tho im happy for those hu won in ytd's race, im damn pissed wif myself. how come i have to be sick for so long? how come i noe tt i wld nvr ever ever get a chance to compete on a national lvl for x-country ever ever again? its all instinct man its like some sort of omnipotent being is controlling my freakin life! sure i get upset at e unfairness but seriously..i dun wanna remain liddis for e rest of e yr...my last yr in ai..
it seems as if ever since e seniors left everything is juz gg dwn 4 me..
when i get sick i actually get accused of lying n slacking..but i dun c e person accusing me pushing during trg...n when i really really work hard, no 1 cares!i feel totally unappreciated.. tis is e very 1st time i feel like quitting track..e ppl juz suck...e last of my motivators hav left n i feel totally alone..defenceless. im slowly beginning to forget e trust they had had in me..e gd times..we used to hav so much fun..yet i dun wanna give up all my yrs of hard work
some say i look perfectly normal...cheerful even..i say its all but a great big facade..some tell me to get over it coz there's always another chance..some dun even care.but u guys dun understand..u guys dunno how much it means to me..my pride,my whole being is now slowly being squashed..its stiffling..i feel as if im claustrophobic coz all e walls in my life keep closing in,1 after another..n e roof is slowly sinking..i feel so vulnerable.i feel like im being attacked..like im some sortta pressure cooker
e o lvl results were released on friday..our sch din do tt well...i saw e most no. of ppl crying in my entire 15 yrs of existence on tis cold planet..i dun wanna b crying when i get my results nxt yr..i want to be e 1 cheering.. but is tt possible?no matter how hard i try i juz cant grasp some subs..i really dunno wat to do
i juz read shu fen's blog n broke dwn..e tears ive been trying to contain juz rolled dwn..shes feeling wat im feeling now man..she did wat i did.. all i cld do today was juz stare out my window hugging my pillow..no tears no music..no slp came to me..juz gazing at e rays of e sun touching e earth...e beauty of it all contradicts wat im feeling now..i dunno wat my life wld be..i c no future at all..its all so bleak..i feel like how a blind man wld feel..i c darkness..ive lost my aim in life..i really dunno wat im living for coz watever i do juz keeps failing..i cant think of ath ive done tts successful..yea life is unfair
no one noes exactly juz wat i feel
i blogged @
1:52 PM
Sunday, February 05, 2006
ok cool dwn le..its life cant help it
watched i not stupid 2 wiv muh fam today..n wow it was great! it really relates to many ppl's lives.. n gets u thinking abt urs too muahahakz totally recommended
cny tis yr was totally boring man..i mean..confirm 1 wad..after 15 yrs of visiting..not sian meh..go there..either u watch tv or stare into blank space or sleep...yea.. n e lao yu sheng thingy is soo wu liao! by e time vry1 lao finish theres none left 4 urself!coz all drop on e table..-_-" dunno how dey lao oso
die..been missing trg for 2 wks le..stamina confirm go dwn..but gradually i dun find any reason to train animore..he dun wanna put us in A girls animore coz e ppl there dun allow sec sch to compete wiv jc peeps..n tts totally lame coz e last time i checked...cedar did exactly tt last yr!how unfair!
haiz....after a yr im still struggling wiv chem n physics.. my after-sec-life is totally doomed
i blogged @
9:45 PM
