Monday, June 21, 2010
been pretty caught up w stuff though it's the hols. cant say im complaining though. places to go, things to do... ain't that bad at all.
it's where i'm headed that really counts for anything at all. And for the record, that's no place i know of. high-strung on so many things. bitterness? resentment? i'm still figuring out. but mostly, still settling, yet telling myself i shouldnt be settling. on and on this cycle goes. like a game of monopoly. the irony. i shouldn't be feeling like i'm 30
To my 18 year old self:
you're gonna learn that being strong means more than stubbornly clinging on to faith. you're gonna find out that time, contrary to popular belief, doesn't stand for much either, when it comes to rocking the boat of friendship. it'll feel like you're playing minesweeper, live. Every wham that pounds into your fragile emotions becomes an exploding geiser. masks will fall, personalities will be revealed. but for some, no mask will come off at all. in them, you may confide.
you're gonna learn, that sometimes God keeps silent, and you gotta decide what you want for your life. sure there'll be times you fall in the arms of doubt. they snatch you like a thief as you fall apart. but that's alright. you'll learn. because arms of grace, of something more incomprehensible than you've ever known in this life you thought you were so "experienced" in, will be ever waiting. when you fall, these hands will be like a target. rings of red, yellow and blue. only, you won't ever have to risk failure, because you'll always land on the mark.
so be brave. Things will change, and so will you.
i blogged @
9:49 PM
